the little c r a c k of s u n l i g h t
by mktoddsparky
Summary: Just a lttle insight to what's really going on in Sam's head. / She wanted to s c r e a m to the s k i e s  and just f l y far, far a w a y / Slight Seddie.


.:..:. the little _c r a c k_ of **s u n l i g h t** that keeps **d r a g g i n g** her back .:..:.

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**This was kind of random but I felt like writing it based off of personal experiences. If you look closely there's hints of Seddie, but you have to look r e a l l y closely. And when I say brown hair, in stanza 4, I mean the type of brown that Jennette's hair is right now. Hopefully you can picture that in your head. And I'm sorry if this is confusing. I put a lot of personal stuff into it, if you can't tell after reading it :p. I guess I wanted to capture the essence of what's going on in Sam's head and I pictured it as really complex and hard to understand. Enjoy and review, even if you didn't like it! **

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She _c h a s e d _the boys around the playground, giggling with glee.

She was y o u n g and thus…_c a r e f r e e _{she wanted to f l y someday, far, far _a w a y_}

The girls laughed at her and played with their [pretty, p r e t t y] dolls.

She wasn't like them…[she was **d i f f e r e n t**.]

/

She dug in the [gooey, _s l i m y_] mud as a child.

They squealed {"_gross_"} and reminded her that she wasn't a [_d i r t y_, filthy] boy.

She looked at her [slippery, mud-covered] hands and felt like _c r y i n g_.

{because she knew she didn't _**b e l o n g**_}

/

In 7th grade, _c h a s i n g _boys around wasn't acceptable [so they _c o n s t a n t l y_ said.]

Makeup and [tinkling, _m u s i c a l_] laughter was what she was supposed to do [because she should be a pretty, _p e r f e c t_ pansy, apparently.]

She didn't understand [exactly] why, because _r u n n i n g_ was so fun.

{she always k n e w she was **d i f f e r e n t**}

/

In high school they had [luscious, _u n t a m e d]_ blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes.

They spotted the [_e n o r m o u s_, gross] pimple on her forehead and giggled [mockingly.]

Her [dirty, _f l a t_] brown hair wasn't enough, her [dull, _o c e a n_] blue eyes too dim.

{she was _**d i f f e r e n t**_; she always k n e w she was _**d i s g u s t i n g**_.}

/

He said he liked the blonde haired, sporty [just like _h e r_] girls [and she shouldn't care because he's a nub but she _d o e s_.]

And when he slipped his [warm, comforting] arm around her waist she fell in _l o v e _[although she wouldn't _a d m i t_ that to him, _e v e r_.]

And then he started dating that [chilly, _p o s s e s i v e_] girl; [that girl made him _h a p p y_, though, so she couldn't _c o m p l a i n_.]

{she always _k n e w_ she wasn't _g o o d_ _e n o u g h_ for him .}

/

She didn't give up on their [_f r o s t – b i t t e n_, chilly] group [because she was _s t r o n g_ and invincible, supposedly.]

They _g r e w_ _u p_ and turned into [somewhat] mature individuals [_b u m b l i n g_ their way through life.]

And still she didn't _t a l k_ normally, sweetly [because they didn't _e x p e c t_ her to, so she didn't. _F i s t s_ work just as good, thank you.]

{they wouldn't _u n d e r s t a n d_ her anyways.}

/

She wanted to _s c r e a m_ to the _s k i e s_ [and just _f l y_ far, far _a w a y, _because it's so _e a s y_ to run from your _p r o b l e m s_.]

Because they're [laid-back, college bound] seniors now and they _n e v e r_ come anymore [because they're paranoid and "too _c o o l_".]

What was the [miserable, heart-wrenching] _p o i n t_ of sticking around then? [she should have _f l e d_ like always.]

{she should have _k n o w n_ they would all _**a b a n d o n**_ her eventually.}

/

She cries and _c r i e s_ [until she can't cry anymore, because it_ h u r t s_ too much.]

Every _b r e a t h_ escapes her throat in [_r a g g e d_] gasps, because, just _b e c a u s e _[because there are no words to _d e s c r i b e_ it.]

The time for _c h e r i s h i n g_ [supposedly valuable] moments has come and they're _g o n e _[and she's _s t u p i d_ enough to cry over them.]

{and she _**f i n a l l y**_ realizes that there was **nothing wrong **with her in the first place.}

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**SPARKNOTES:**

**Yeah, I don't know what that was. It's probably crappy and you'll all hate it but I felt like writing and _this_ happened. Review however you please. :)**


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